No Such Thing As A Relationship Expert

Check out Ethan’s new lecture on the Shambhala Podcast, No Such Thing As A Relationship Expert.

That’s right, nobody is a relationship expert. Let me be clear: Of course, certain professionals have extensive psychological training to help others with their relationships. I am not claiming that this training is in any way invalid. Seeking relationship guidance from a third party with the skills to help can be one of the smartest and most humbling things we ever do. But the only way to progress with relationships is to connect with our longing to know ourselves more deeply, and to extend that longing to know- ing others as well. By definition, no single person can be an expert at relationships. Every relationship is a collaboration between (at least) two people, and an expert is one lone person. A relationship is a movement beyond oneself, a stretch outside the private domain of experience. The very act of relating to another human being is the act of relinquishing your expertise. So “relationship expert” is an oxymoron, and no one should pretend to be anything that has the word moron in it.

Remember to check out the award-winning book The Road Home: A Contemporary Exploration of the Buddhist Path if you haven’t already. Ethan’s next book – The Dharma of The Princess Bride: What The Coolest Fairy Tale of Our Time Can Teach Us About Buddhism and Relationships is available for preorder, and in bookstores everywhere (hardcover, ebook and audiobook) September 12! This Shambhala podcast has lots of great teachers and lectures on it (Ethan is featured about once every three or four episodes), so you probably just subscribe via iTunes. Enjoy!